Parents not only compare their kids when it is about academics but also relate them with other kids or siblings when it comes to sports, creativity and other spheres of life. This makes even the kid compare themselves with their friends in terms of haves and have nots.
When exam results come out, parents put extreme pressure on their kids by comparing their marks with their friends or classmates. If they have scored less then their friends, they face scolding. This is not the right way to parent a child. What they want is acknowledgement of their hard work and to know that their abilities are not to be measured against the benchmark of their other friends.
It is part of human nature to compare but it must be kept in mind that everyone has their own set of capabilities and when you compare your child, you are all set for disappointment and they will be all set for dissatisfaction. When you see your child work hard for a goal, appreciate their effort and help them move forward by motivating them instead of comparing their activities with what other kids are doing.
Even if your child is doing better than others, telling him so will create a sense of entitlement in the child. They would demand special treatment and consider others lower than him. Whether a comparison for the better or the worse, it is not advisable to compare your child with anyone.
Some DO’S:
1. Encourage your child instead of bringing him down. Motivate him to work harder.
2. The only person you should compare them to is themselves. See their growth graph. Have they improved and are moving in the positive direction?
3. Be friendly with your child so they can approach you whenever they have a problem. You should have a strong bond with your child so they can tell you about the difficulties they are facing and what is stopping them from doing better.
4. Identify what they wish to do and support them all the way as they move forward.
Some DON’Ts:
1.Never pressurize your child whether it is over work or any other matter.
2.Don’t get influenced by what other kids are doing. This will impact your child’s behaviour negatively.
3. Do not scold your kid if they do not perform as well as you expect them to. Instead help them in finding their weak points and correct them together.
4. Appreciate your child’s achievements but do not judge them on the mistakes that they make.
Every child has their special growth graph according to their ability and personality. Their calibre requires appreciation instead of comparison.