Rude behaviour is a phase that every parent goes through once in their life. A common practice which adopts towards their parents. On the other hand, scolding, shouting and spanking them can only worsen the situation more.
So, in the scenario what one should do?
Definitely, such a provocative behaviour from the child is not good. Though, your goal shall be to re-establish the family standard for respect. And, that possible only when you model respect while you invite constructive communication to solve your child’s problem. Set clear expectations about the way one can communicate in your family.
Here’s your 3-step process to follow:
STEP 1 – Be the Change you want to See in your Children
There’s a great saying that ‘parents are the first school of children.’ Therefore, every practice you adapt is what children will follow blindly. So, look out for the ways you behave and never use words like “Get out”, “Shut-up”, etc. Lashing them back or being angry over petty issues is not going to help.
Be the role-model of what you want to see your child grow into.
STEP 2 – Understand them and Never take it Personally
A child may be frustrated and angry because of which he/she may answer back harshly. But never take that personally and lash them back. Instead, try to understand their mindset at that point of time and stay calm.
When you answer back it seems to them that this is the way one should behave when someone is shouting and not listening to you. Look at opportunities to connect with them. You should spend at least half an hour with them alone to understand their behaviour and let them know that you love them unconditionally.
STEP 3 – Set Clear Expectations for Respectful Communication
You should never shout back or punish a child when he/she is angry. This builds-up more anger in them in future. Besides, they also distance themselves from you. So, just do one thing, let them know what do you expect from them and set clear instruction as to what everyone in the house shall follow.
For example, “Never talk back in this tone. Just let me know why you’re angry and where was I wrong. I also don’t speak to you in that tone. So, let’s avoid using such a tone”.
Happy Parenting! Understand. Relax. Set you Expectation!