The pandemic in 2020 forced many of us to be in a long distance relationship. Sometimes, our significant others were stuck in another country or state, and couldn’t come back until the rules of the lockdown were relaxed, or you were simply not living together. The reason could be any, but this forced long distance love caused a lot of us to go through several ups & downs. Unfortunately, a lot of such relationships couldn’t survive.
While this was a forced yet necessary separation, long distance love could also be a choice for many of us. What if one of you gets a good career opportunity in another state or country? What if one of you has to move to a different city to take care of your family? There could be any number of reasons for being in one but the fact remains that the long distance between two people certainly puts a lot of strain on the relationship. It is surely frustrating to not being able to meet your love frequently, or not being able to talk to them when you need them the most, or you/them missing out on some of the most important milestones of life – all of this could take a toll on the health of your relationship and bonding.
All these reasons are good enough to break up and move on in your life. But nobody said that being in a relationship is easy; let alone being in a long distance relationship. If you are at your wit’s end but also want to make it work, I would advise you to try some of the following tips. How do I know if these tips would work? Well, due to the pandemic, my partner and I are have been living in different cities and have, somehow, managed to make it work. I hope that these relationship tips would be helpful to you too.
How to make a long distance relationship work?
I am sure that you are here for some good advice. So, I’ll start with some serious points which you both have to tackle right away. Then we move on to some fun ones, I promise.
1. Stop Excessive Communication
When we first had to deal with being in different cities, it was difficult for both of us, especially when we use to see each other almost every day. It was like a major break in our daily routine. We missed being able to spend time with each other or just simply being together.
We tried compensating it by staying in non-stop contact. Though it felt good for a few days, we did get tired of ‘loving’ all the time. So, we stopped this excessive communication. You don’t have to keep communicating to keep the relationship going. If you have a stronger bond, speaking with each other 2-3 times over the phone and updating over text is enough.
Less is always more, and it is all about being there for the person when they need you the most. Also, the right amount of teasing at the right time does the trick.
2. Set Some Ground Rules
The most important thing before you get into a long distance relationship is setting the ground rules so that both of you know exactly what to expect from each other. Are you exclusive, or is it okay for the other person to go out on dates? What is the level of commitment? What are the things that would make you uncomfortable, and if your partner is okay with not doing them?
Discuss these points thoroughly so that none of you is taken by surprise when your partner does something that would bother the hell out of you.
For us, this thing always does the trick. If you are not sure whether your partner would like what I you doing right now, put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself this question – if he or she would be doing this right now, would I be okay with it? And you’ll have your answer.
3. Create Relationship Goals
Another factor to consider in long distance love is your relationship goals. Sometimes, when a partner moves to a different city, their goals might change. Therefore, it is important to discuss these goals frequently and chart up a timeline to stay on the same page. We both discuss goals like where do we stand now and what is the future of this relationship. When do we think we would be able to move in with each other, or what is the next logical step for us to stay in this relationship?
How to feel closer in a long distance relationship?
Not being together is one of the key aspects that create tension in a long distance love relationship. Here’s how you can feel closer to each other.
4. Do Things Together
Okay, so you miss binge-watching your favourite series together or discussing it while you are watching? Well, several apps are available now which can help you go on a virtual date or a binge-watching spree together. These apps also give you an option to see each other and talk while watching the series together.
Try to spend quality time with each other. You can talk while going on a walk or do online shopping for each other. Simply create a shared account and add things you want to buy for them in a shopping cart or create a wish list. As I said, there are several ways to get creative.
5. Share Your Schedules
So, one of the problems that we faced was not being able to talk to each other due to clashing schedules. When you are not aware of the schedule for your partner, mistrust can spread its legs in long distance relationships and create problems. We got over this problem by letting each other know every morning about how our day was planned. If I was even making a plan of going out with my friends or family, my partner was aware of the same. We even sent each other pictures from the events we were at and texted whenever we were on our way home. This removed the problem of mistrust and also helped us find time to talk to one another, without any added hassle.
6. Visit Each Other
Plan trips to see each other often. It is better to communicate with each other when you are together. If certain problems are going on in your long distance relationship, try to meet and resolve them together. A lot of frustrations diffuse when you see each other. Trust me, meeting after a long time and seeing each other is a different kind of magic. You almost forget every other problem you might be facing as you spend quality time together.
7. Be Honest
Yes, honesty is the best policy in a long distance relationship. Irrespective of what you are feeling, whether it’s jealousy, apathy, insecurity, fear, just talk to each other. Remember, it is the two of you who are in this relationship and the other person needs to know how you are feeling in this relationship. Trust me; keeping secrets is not the way to get the relationship going. At some point or other, the secret comes out, ruining your bond. Therefore, honesty is always the right path to be chosen.
What about sex life in a long distance relationship?
8. Talk Dirty and Often
Sex is not only a biological need but also an emotional one. Sexual tension is what keeps the parties from drifting away from one another. It keeps the spice going in your life. Send flirty texts, pictures or talk in innuendos. Wear something that he would love and send a naughty text with the picture. With the integration of technology in our lives, there are several ways to get creative.
It is not easy being in long distance love. But doing little things to ensure that there is honesty and love between the two of you can make you two go further in the relationship. Sending cute care packages, frequent video calls, pet names, planning a trip together are good ways to keep the communication going. But the most important thing to keep in mind is staying positive.