Parents nowadays are rowing between how to enforce limits and not to force their children to follow them. This dilemma has burdened them to find out ways online as well as offline. I agree to each one of you out there!
I was dealing with implementing limits on kids and also not affecting the bond we share. These tips have been effective and early results were visible. I would love to list them out for you. Also, do leave your comments below on how impactful were the tips:
Limits and empathy go hand-in-hand
Never be too harsh or too soft. Wondering how to balance out? Forcing can only further ruin everything out. Instead, try to understand what your child wants to convey. Make them understand that he/she isn’t a bad person for wanting to get his/her desires fulfilled. Instead, it’s just his/her choice that is inappropriate and they have to follow the limits set.
Encourage your children to express their feelings
When you neglect your children’s wishes and try imposing your own, they are tended to distance themselves from you. So, let them express their feelings freely. The time when you accept their feelings is the time when they will understand why you have limited their actions. They must feel safe enough to convey their message efficiently to you.
Instead of punishment tell him/her how to do a thing
Punishment won’t ever help when you know your toddler/kids have taken a wrong step. Besides, they need you to guide them and be with them during their hard times. When you want to limit their acts convert it into your advice. Like when a child has hit someone and you want them to apologise every time, they make a mistake. Don’t force them just make them acknowledge how important it is to feel sorry and apologise for it!
Give them an advance understanding
Why wait for something wrong to happen! Just aware your children well-in-advance the pros and cons of performing an action. Let them know that some actions which they believe to be correct are not always the same. Give them an understanding that practising such actions won’t be appreciated by you and they shall avoid it in all circumstances. And in case of emergencies, they are free to approach you and you won’t judge them for it!
Protect your bond and snuggle them
Remember a child will listen to you only when they feel loved and comfortable at first place. Limits are good but protecting your bond is too an important criterion. Firstly, earn that level of devotion and then expect your child to follow the set-limits without applying any force. Co-operate, connect and snuggle them on daily basis. Your child needs non-reactive compassion to help them through the challenges in their life.