Family time and parental love are very essential things while raising a child. A child needs the attention and support from the parent that is must and should not be avoided.
Parental styles common decision classifies them along two axes, the first is parental warmth and on the other hand, is the parental discipline. Based on the high and low of the parenting approach on each of these two dimensions the parenting styles are divided into four types. The parenting approach which has high warmth and high discipline is called the authoritative style and in contrast, the approach with low warmth and high discipline is referred to as the authoritarian style. Permissive style is referred to when the approach is high warmth but low discipline. And finally, the neglectful style is referred to when the approach is with low warmth and low discipline.
Without saying we can say that the love of parents is essential to a child’s well-being. God has made kids in such a way that they need parental love and he has built parents in a way that they have the ability to give the love. Yet his families are complicated. Parents are often busy, tired, and scattered and many of us feel guilty about how well we are raising our kids. We ask ourselves are we giving the kids the love they need? And more questions like this.
Why Is Parental Love Important?
Children that have a healthy relationship with their parents are more likely to develop a positive relationship with people around them. They establish a secure bond and friendship with peers. They are better when at regulating their emotions when faced with difficult situations and stress. An attachment that is secure helps promote a child’s cognitive, social, and emotional development with parents. It also helps the kids in exhibiting positive social behaviors. If a healthy involvement of parents is there is a child’s day to day activities and life then it will help ensure that the kid can perform better socially and academically. And the children who have a positive and secure relationship with their parents learn the essential skills and values that set them on the path for future success.
The authentic parental love is a skill that we can learn and it starts with understanding the clear benefits our children receive when they are living in a home where “love” is spelled as “TIME”.
- Spiritual Growth : Love is a physical form of need for your child. When the kids receive and learn to give love they won’t be thirsty in the future for love from people outside their family. Love of parents is authentic and helps the kid to develop an identity as a beloved child of God the one who has the capacity and responsibility to share that love with others.
- Brain Growth : A mother’s love helps the child to grow the brain at as much as twice the rate as that of a child who is neglected. The kids who are preschoolers who receive parental love and nurturing from their moms were found to give growth in the hippocampus a part of the brain which is involved in learning, memory, and response to stress.
- Self Confidence : When a kid feels genuine and unconditional love from their parents they learn to enjoy the moments and experiences of life instead of being worried about what the future holds. But if the family environment and the love is authentic then the self confidence of the kid increases automatically.
- Strength to face the adversity : Kids who are from loving hones tend to learn better adaptability. The love from parents gives the kid roots to develop the resilience and perspective for facing the difficulties in life. When a kid receives authentic, encouraging, and supportive words from their parents they are better able to learn self control, perseverance, and patience.
- Sense of security and ability to handle boundaries : Helping the children appreciate limits and boundaries means true parental love. Kids feel safe and secure when they have the boundaries and feel loved when they remember these moments with their parents.
Quality Parent-Child Relationship
Building a relationship takes time and effort from both sides. Parents have to work hard to develop a strong and dynamic relationship with each child. Children are grown and changed with each new stage of life and development, which challenge us to adapt to some new rules and circumstances accordingly. The strong bond of parent-child relationships has certain qualities that remain constant. The relationship is built on safety, mutual respect, unconditional love, flexibility, and acceptance.
Safety : Safety is a must for bonding and self-regulation. Safety starts when a newborn’s needs are met by their parents. By then only they learn that their parents are consistently there for them to provide food, comfort, warmth, stimulation, and love. Through these signs and interactions, trust is built between parent and child which lasts a lifetime. Safety is a net that forms a solid ground of parent and child relationship with the child’s emotional wellbeing.
Unconditional Love : The direct result of trust that was built is Unconditional love. The kid has to know that they have been loved and that the love will not falter through the ups and downs. And that their parents will always be there to support them emotionally and mentally no matter what. They need to feel that failures will not dictate if they are worthy of the love they receive from their parents. They will love you in your failure, success, good day, or bad day. Parents can build this quality by being available emotionally for their children, allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them, and trusting them to explore their world.
Mutual Respect : It is always seen that the child should respect their parents and parents feel the same but we forget that the respect needs to be reciprocal. Kids need to know that their feelings, opinions, and rights matter to you. With good communication, respect can be started. When you listen to your child’s needs and let him know that you are truly listening and he is been heard in that way you are showing respect to your child. Acknowledging his individuality even when your thoughts differ and letting them know that you respect who he is and what thought process he has is a great way to build mutual respect. If you want to be treated with kindness then you should also show him the same consideration because you are fostering a relationship that is based on mutual respect.
Acceptance: It is an open-ended concept that means embracing your child’s individuality, cherishing his unique qualities, and meeting him where he is at. Acceptance also means accepting their limitations and flaws. And helping them gently through hurdles.
Flexibility : Accepting your child the way they are is flexible. It also means that you are accepting that your child might be different tomorrow from what he is today. Techniques that are used for other kids might not work for your own kid. Parents need to adjust their parenting with the evolution of their kids and be flexible for the change that may happen. When something goes wrong we keep looking for a solution. We should always stay open to new possibilities and approaches while growing a child.
The relationship between a parent and a child is always complex so a solid foundation will make it stronger at each stage of child development.
The happy and successful lives are rooted in a good relationship with parents. A feeling of nurture, parental love, and acceptance during childhood time is one of the best predictors of future happiness, success, and life satisfaction for an adult.
Physical Health : Research says that those kids who did not experience parental love more than twice are likely to develop physical illness 35 years later which included alcoholism, coronary artery disease, duodenal ulcer, and hypertension.
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Self Adequacy and Self Esteem : Kids who are raised up with love and acceptance by their parents tend to have high self esteem. The children who feel rejected develop low self s=esteem and self worth in life. The views of the kids tend to reflect the view of their parents and lack of parental love and acceptance will leave them feeling unworthy and unlovable which leads them to low self worth.
Social Competence : The kids are more socially competent when they have received love and acceptance from their parents. Through repeated and familiar interactions parents and children develop their social behavioral orientation and these interactions are carried over into peer interactions.
Academic Competence : Children who perceive love and acceptance have the highest academic achievement. So it is important for a parent to nurture their kid with acceptance and love.
Emotional Regulation : By observing their parent’s emotional regulation behaviors and modeling them children develop their own skills. The mothers show loving and caring emotions and use different strategies to handle any emotional problems. The children whose parents have an accepting and loving nature will tend to have better emotional regulation.
Mental Health : Growing up with parental love have a better and great psychological adjustment. The children who are grown up feeling rejected are more likely to develop the problems like substance abuse, depression, and other issue related to mental health. They also tend to have problems like conduct disorder, behavior issues, and delinquency. So make sure you are giving proper love to your kid the one that he deserves and needs while growing up.
We hope through this article the parents to be or existing parents know how important it is to nurture your kid with parental love as your love is all they need and it will lead them to a better living when they grow up.