Love is one term that gives a tingling feeling to some of us, for few it’s a synonym for pain. Well, Love is never a pain. Heartbreak is painful. We all, at some stage of our lives have experienced that pinch, or we know someone who is trying to heal that pinch. And heartbreak does not necessarily is the outcome of a relationship gone sour. Heartbreak can also be due to an unfulfilled dream, health crisis and the list goes on. People during this crisis pull themselves back, shut themselves completely, and build huge walls around them so no person or any idea can reach them. This situation is understandable and everyone has a different mechanism to cope up with the pain. Some try to heal by penning down their thoughts, some have best friends at their back, some tune to their hobbies and some even approach the shrink. Everything is a part of healing. Problem is despite doing all this, when a part of us is still stuck at some person or some unfulfilled wish. One might think that what is the harm in wishing? There is absolutely no harm in having wishes, the harm is in getting stuck with the wishes. Because exactly that stuck part starts breeding toxicity in us. And many times, we aren’t even aware of it. A very classic example of this is around us – water. Flowing river water is always fresh, whereas even a small puddle of water gets stagnant in absence of sun and is a breeding ground for so many diseases causing germs. We might lie to the world but we can’t lie to ourselves, can we? We can pretend to lie to ourselves but for how long? There are many ways one can fix this. Let’s see how we can fix it. Many of us might think these are very simple steps and might know it already, but remember we all are humans and at times do need to be reminded of what we already know. And simplicity always is in trend.
Step 1: Accept that it’s okay to make mistakes. It is an integral part of human nature. It only makes you human. You can be at either side of the table. One who is hurt or the one who has hurt. From a third perspective both are hurt. Accept that you are hurt.
Step 2: Choose to be sensible, time and situation can really be tough on us. We might think to avenge or damage the other person. The best part of every situation is that it allows you to choose. Choose your actions sensibly. There is no harm in having a big heart.
Step 3: The damage wasn’t done overnight, so don’t be too hard on yourself to heal. Time heals if you give it time. Even a simple cut takes a couple of days to heal, and another couple of days for the mark to disappear. We can’t show the inner wound but it heals. In the healing process, be a hundred per cent honest so not even the smallest part is stuck behind.
Step 4: Don’t form conclusions, that a bad experience means a bad future. Tomorrow is uncertain. A bad relationship doesn’t mean all are bad. People are generally good. It is just that at times two people are not good together. And it is okay. A job opportunity lost doesn’t mean the end of the world. A wish unfulfilled doesn’t mean that the other wishes won’t come true. Life is so uncertain and that is the beauty of it
Step 5: Try to be away from self-ego, self-guilt, self-blame trips. There is no shame in accepting if you are on one. We all have done those trips, just that the outcome of this trip is unpleasant. Why go on unpleasant trips when we can go on pleasant trips by forgiving and respecting our own life’s essence?
Step 6: These unpleasant trips generally make us selectively blind. We are unable to see the blessings and appreciate what we have. Life is really short and we should live it. Letting it go and still minutely being stuck is a sheer waste of just not time but Life too.
Forgiveness is beautiful, do it more often. Remember there are some things we owe to ourselves. Friends, a counsellor can walk with us along the path, but we have to take our steps on our own. Don’t take it as a battle to be won. It is not. It is a journey from old you to be better new you!